Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Retarded Stuff

Its been more than 3 months since coming to UK and now its 2006. I could still remember being in camp and stuff like being in outfield and ATEC and now I'm studying. Time really flies huh.....Anyway ive decided to write some stupid stuff I can remember in this retarded place.

Once a guy in my hall got drunk. He needed to relieve himself and conveniently opened the window of his room and pissed outside. Coincidentally, there was this yob that was juz outside the window and his urine landed on his head. Well, u probably dunnno wat the hell a yob is, it is the UK version of a chao ah beng. How would u feel if some bastard urine on your head, u confirm feel damm fucked up right? Yar lar.......so the yob went to find his gang to give this drunkard some 颜色看..... In a few mins, outside that drunkard's window, alot of chao ah bengs were hurling insults and vulgarity at that guy. Its damm bloody noisy lar......u can even hear beer bottles smashing and bloody hell lots of screaming and shouting, punctuated with vulgarities......I think that suay guy hong gan liao......it was almost like some skirmish, the noise like during attack mission when the rifleman attacking enemy like dat.....but like half hour....it became quiet.....I dunno wat happen to that guy lar....but at least I know he next time will know where to pee liao.

Sometimes i think angmohs are like damm retarded in some way lor......like dat time in chinatown in some chinese restaurant.....some angmoh order the 铁板烧肉.....then the waiter came with the dish.....and put it on the hot metal plate......then will have the stupid sizzling sound right? Then the angmohs saw it and they were like WAH!!......like see magic like dat....I think they see David Copperfield also wont be like dat......aiyah its damm stupid one lar.....but this one not the stupidest yet.....that time my friend was talking to some angmohs bout fermentation and wine and preserve food....stuff like dat lar.. Then one retarded angmoh think he damm smart.....he suddenly voice out......"OHh, nothing can beat the chinese, they have the century egg, u need 100 years to produce it." WTF right? I think I 练仙丹only need 七七四十九天 lor......also no need 100 years.

Got another time also damm stupid.....that time I buy叉烧包 back to eat....then my UK coursemate came to my room.....so i ask him whether he want or not. Then he say ok.... then he take and eat.....then he ate halfway before I realized to my horror, he ate the bloody paper with it....Im like WTF!!!! why u go and eat the paper???? Then u know wat he say or not? He tell me, "is that paper? I don't know that, it taste ok wat.....i don't mind eating it"....and he ate up the whole thing along with the bloody paper. Then i was like slapping myself on the forehead.....he eat the whole thing like we eat 小白兔糖 along with the rice paper lor.......but nvm lar.....also not bad......dun waste food ma.......I think he attained the dont waste food 大法的最高境界 already liao.

Actually got alot of other stupid things that happen here lar......but now cannot remember already.....next time I can remember then i'll write down.....oh anyway hor......juz want to clarify things.......Im NOT the bloody president of LGB......not even a member........I dont even know anyone in there.....I dont even know wat they do.....where do they hang out....so how can be LGB president right?? Thanks to some guy call LZG lor.....anyhow go and spread this kind of thing....come to think of it, LGB and LZG like got quite abit of similarity lor......both got L and got G. They like got some kind of 缘分like dat.....yar lor......Anyway, my fellow comrades....cant wait to go back Singapore already......i should be back by June.......till then I think everyone will be back even Mr Ho from US.....dunno where he dissappear to also....so......till then we shall meet again......*salutes*

READY TO STRIKE!!! HUAA!!!! hahahahhaha